Embrace the Suck
by HeartlessWings96
Summary: We're taught that peace and happiness come from embracing and living in the moment; but what should we do when the moment sucks? How do we embrace the pain of heartbreaking loss without suffering anger and sorrow?


**Title: **Embrace the Suck

**Rating:** T (for swearing and mentions of violence)

**Pairings:** Brittana (Santana/Brittany), Klaine (Blaine/ Kurt), Puckleberry (Noah 'Puck' Puckerman/Rachel), Tike (Tina/Mike), mentions of Tartie (Tina/Artie), brief Finchel (Finn/Rachel),mentions of Wemma (Will/Emma), also Wevid and Niff bromances.

**WARNING:** Finn bashing, slight Mercedes bashing (but still got love for her too!)

**A/N**: Story is told from my OC's POV

**Full Summary/Prologue:** A year ago I lost my best friend and my sister, my twin. I didn't know how I would move forward or even if I could. We're taught that peace and happiness come from embracing and living in the moment; but what should we do when the moment sucks? How do we embrace the pain of heartbreaking loss without suffering anger and sorrow?

I don't know if you can entirely, and in that moment I really couldn't and didn't want to. So I ran. At times when it became too much I would find myself spontaneously breaking into tears that I had tried so hard to keep at bay that it became a fear. Foolish really, being scared of something so harmless as crying, but to me it showed weakness and showing weakness meant dealing with the pain and I really wasn't ready for that; I'm still not, but I'm getting better at running from it all, a little singing in the shower, dancing at the clubs, and lots and lots of drinking. It keeps things numb and keeps any other feeling at bay, and that's what I need, or at least that's what I thought I needed before I moved to this god-forsaken place called Lima, Ohio.

**Embrace the Suck**

_Some people like living in a lie because reality cuts to deep. – Unknown_

What was wrong with the world for my parents to honestly think that living in this awful place could make things better? Seriously, France was fine by me, in fact my brother seemed to really like it there but of course once we start liking a place to much we are forced to move once more. I scoffed as I looked out the window of the black Escalade and slouched further into my seat, stuffing my headphones in and smiling when I heard the first song start. God I loved it when my iPod knew exactly what kind of music therapy I needed and I softly hummed along.

In the light of the sun, is there anyone? Oh it has begun...

Oh dear you look so lost, eyes are red and tears are shed,

This world you must've crossed...she said...

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
>She said<br>You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

Essential yet appealed, carry all your thoughts across  
>An open field,<br>When flowers gaze at you... they're not the only ones who cry  
>When they see you<br>She said...

She closed her eyes as she let the music take her away, beneath the aviators she had on and the eyelids she kept firmly closed an indefinable emotion laid there but as she blinked it left and she went back to just the music.

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah,  
>She said<br>You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains... oh yeah,

She said I think I'll go to Boston...  
>I think I'll start a new life,<br>I think I'll start it over, where no one knows my name,  
>I'll get out of California, I'm tired of the weather,<br>I think I'll get a lover and fly him out to Spain...  
>Oh yeah and I think I'll go to Boston,<br>I think that I'm just tired  
>I think I need a new town, to leave this all behind...<br>I think I need a sunrise, I'm tired of the sunset,  
>I hear it's nice in the Summer, some snow would be nice... oh yeah,<p>

You don't know me, you don't even care, oh yeah...

Boston... where no one knows my name... yeah  
>Where no one knows my name...<br>Where no one knows my name...  
>Boston...<br>No one knows my name.

As the song came to an end she smiled slightly. The one advantage of moving to a new place was that no one knew who you were and you could be anyone you wanted. The possibilities were endless and with getting to see her brother again since he transferred last semester she might be able to get rid of her past, maybe she could really forget this time. But sadly, the voice in the back of her head just kept telling her that same old mantra; nothing improves the memory more than trying to forget.

**A/N:** To all those that have read my other two stories, I Told You I Was Dangerous and Long Way to Happy, know that I'm not abandoning them I have simply dealing with writer's block as Glee has stuck this idea in my head and isn't letting my think of much else when it comes in mind. Also, keep in mind that when I did have the idea on my mind for my other stories that my sister, Nicole, actually stole our movies – Fast Five and X-Men: First Class – so I didn't have anything to go over for almost two months! And now I'm fairly busy with my sister, Stephanie, getting married in June so I can't guarantee what day I'll update just know that I will update this fic when possible, and my other two when I have my writer's block satisfied and subdued. Thanks for reading everyone! Much love!

**R&R**

**Song: Boston - Augustana**


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